Getting better

So in the last few weeks I’ve definitely had a lot going on and I’ve learned a lot. Last time I posted I was having a really hard time coping with things. I’m doing better. I’m learning more and more on how to deal with things and how to put my trust in God’s hands and let my faith guide me. I’ve had a lot of great things happen and some prayers answered. I’ve also been able to come to peace with things that I was afraid of. My son is doing really well in school and I’m so happy. He not only started a new grade but a whole new school. He was a little nervous as was I but things are going great. I also found out about an in home program for my daughter that will help her be more prepared for pre k next year. I can’t wait to get that started! I’m not full of many words tonight so I won’t try to ramble on. Night yall!


Coping with loss

I’m having a really hard time coping with loss. I’ve experienced both sides to this and for me one side of it is a lot harder. I’ve experienced the type of loss that comes with someone passing away. It’s very hard to comprehend that someone will never be around anymore and you can’t pick up the phone and talk to them whenever you want. But with time this gets easier. The type of loss I’m going through and have been for the past 4 years involves family that want nothing to do with me and my kids. For me it’s harder knowing they are still physically on this world and that I could still pick up the phone and call them. It’s extremely hard coping with the feeling of rejection and being unwanted by my own flesh and blood. I deal with it every day in some way. I’ve shed so many tears I could fill the Nile! I’m not sure what to do or if there’s anything I can do based on the past reactions from these family members. I’m tired of them asking about me instead of asking me especially because they never get the full and right story. I feel so empty. 

A different taste

Several months ago I decided to give Chantix another go. I had tried in the past but at the time I had a spouse that smoked and wasn’t ready to quit so I never could quit either. I still have one here and there but it’s always a social thing and I’m not social much. I’ve noticed that my taste buds have changed. My once beloved sweet tea now tastes bad and certain foods have a different taste to them. I had always heard that smoking and not smoking can change your taste buds. For me it’s actually been a good thing because I used to drink and eat a lot of surgery things. Now if I could stop drinking so many cokes I could lose some weight! Anyways I’ve got an early day tomorrow. Night yall!

Rainy week

It has rained everyday this week. Some days more than others. It was a great week though. First week of school went great for my son. He and his sister also really enjoyed Awana! I can’t wait for church tomorrow as I’m getting baptized. Today I received some more of the pioneer woman stuff that I ordered and it’s beautiful!

Now I just need to matching coffee mugs! I also love the new silverware. It has butterflies on the end of them! 

I also got a rug to put between my island and the stove. Not only is it beautiful but it’s also incredibly soft!

I also finally got the gorgeous tea kettle I was dying to have! I even cleaned it and used it already! It’s practical and beautiful so it can sit out and look like decor. 

I love love love it! I had to season my cast iron pans. The first time I did it wrong and they came out sticky. I had never done it before. So I scrubbed the sticky off and tried again and got it right. I look at this beautiful stuff and think about how it will be great to pass down. I never got anything like that passed down to me so I guess I’ll start it.

I’ve also been doing some genealogical research and found out some intriguing stuff about my ancestors. One of my great great great great uncles was the fourth governor of my state! It’s so interesting that I get lost in it for hours sometimes. Anyways I’ll tell you more another time. Night yall!

First and second day success!

Well my son had a wonderful first day of school! His father and I took him to breakfast and then to school. We walked him to class and of course I took a picture! He wanted to be a car rider that afternoon so I found my way to the back road and was pretty close to the front of the line. I think maybe 8 to 10 cars back at most! He must have had a pretty fun day because he fell asleep 10 minutes after we got home! Here’s his first day picture. 

Our second day was new to us because it was his first day to ride the bus. He rode the bus last year at his old school but it was a few weeks after school started before he did and only on the way home because his new friends rode it too. We got to sleep in a little which is backwards from last year. The road is only like 10 yards from my house of that and I can see it from both my front and back porches but it was raining this morning so we sat in my car at the road. I surprised him this afternoon because I got to pick up my daughter a day early.

There are several differences between the old school and the new school but I think he’s still going to enjoy it and do great. His old school had tons of resources for both children and parents, it was fairly new and had all the updated stuff, and it operated kindergarten through fifth grade. They also had about 4 teachers per grade! The new school is in a smaller town and it operates pre k through second grade. Down the road is the intermediate school which has a road that connects to the elementary school for parents that have children in both schools. I haven’t really gotten to see what all this school offers but they do have their own app and the old one didn’t lol. 

One thing I’m grateful for though is these early mornings are helping me get back on track with my sleeping. I think the timing of my divorce was perfect. It was right after the school year ended. I moved at the beginning of summer and had the entire summer to get my house unpacked and put together and to deal with my emotions without interfering with anything important like school. Tomorrow will be a little longer of a day because my son has school and then both of my kids have Awana at church tomorrow evening. It’s a lot at once but I’m sure we can handle it. Night yall!

Last day of summer break

Well my evening is winding down. Tomorrow my son starts 1st grade at a new school. We are both excited and nervous at the same time. I know he will do great and will make friends with ease. I made sure to get his backpack, clothes, and shoes ready so we don’t have any hiccups in the morning. We plan on getting up early and going out for breakfast before going to school. Although I’m ready for him to be back in school I’m also a little sad because that puts me at home alone for a few days a week. I’ll find a way to fill my time though. On another note, since I moved to where I am I have been going to a new church. Although they are baptist just like my last one they have been so much better! The last one was so strict and even after 6 months of attending my family still weren’t considered ready for membership. They also had a 20 page booklet full of rules, values, missions, and what not. Some of which the pastor couldn’t even uphold. The only time we ever felt welcomed was the first time we went. After that it was always very awkward and we felt very out of place. This new church has welcomed me and my kids as if they have known us for years. I’m in a new member class right now and only 2 Sundays in I’ve learned more about what’s going on in the world in Christianity than I ever learned from the old church. I definitely feel at home and I’m even getting baptized next Sunday evening! When I told the old church that they said it was great I wanted to do that but never actually did it for me. I see now that it was a blessing in disguise and God telling me that wasn’t the right place for me. Well it’s time for me to turn the lights out for an early morning. Better get my coffee maker ready! Night yall!

Rainy day

It’s been a dull rainy day here today. But that hasn’t stopped me from enjoying it. I spent the day with my little girl watching movies. I don’t really have a whole lot to blog about today but I do have pics of some of my new toys! Here’s my new cast iron skillet. 

I also got a really cute batter bowl and some more utensils. Love the red and polka dots!

I finally got my new knife set that I’ve been dying to get! I should’ve gotten it from the beginning but I didn’t know anything about her line at the time. Better late than never!

I’m sorry if I come off as bragging or showing off. I’m just really excited. If you knew a little of my background you would really understand. Long story short I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve ever had and a lot of it was stolen from me. Then for 4 years I was moving from place to place and barely able to afford to feed the family. Now I’m on my own with my two kids and my bills are always paid. The kids always come first but the stuff I’m getting for my kitchen is my treat to myself which I never do! Every other time I’ve gotten money or gift cards for me I’ve used it on them. Anyways I’m gonna watch a movie and fall asleep to the sound of rain. Night yall!